I was on a discovery call recently with a potential client.
We were talking about sticking to habits and routines, and she said “I start, but then I miss a day, then a week, and then I think – there’s no point”.
It really made me think about why for years I was the exact same.
And what it was that eventually made me stick to habits like exercise, eating healthily, good sleep habits, learning, reading… And the truth is – I don’t!
Take something like exercise. We’ve all been there. We start off (usually in January) with a new gym kit and a spring in our step.
Then we miss a day or two. Maybe the kids were sick, maybe we were sick, maybe we just couldn’t be bothered.
And the habit disappears, the gym kit gets shoved in a drawer, and we go back to “normal”.
But what if you could change all that, and actually stick to things, and get back on that horse, time and again?
Here are 5 ways you can make that happen:
1. Forgive yourself – when life gets busy and habits slide, it’s easy to beat yourself up for it.
To me that’s wasted energy.
Not that I never do it, but I’ve worked on how I speak to myself through coaching & therapy, and now I try to reframe guilt/negative self talk with phrases like “I’m only human”, “I’ll try again”.
2. Remember why – the reason/s behind why you’re trying to build whatever habits you’re trying to build, are so important to staying on track.
To use the gym/exercise example, my why is to be able to run around with my son, and to live the longest life I can for him. That keeps me coming back time & again even after a break!
3. Set goals – it might be as simple as a goal to have a habit that you complete 5 days out of 7… or it might be to get fit enough to run a marathon.
It doesn’t matter – what matters is having a prize to set your eyes on… then you have something to work towards, which tends to keep you on track to achieve it.
When you fall off track, see point 1. If you need help setting goals, you can download my goal setting workbook here.
4. Accountability – an accountability buddy, a coach, a trusted friend, a diary that you write in daily, an electronic habit tracker – whatever accountability works for you, find it and use it!
The key with this is making sure the person (if it’s a person) knows exactly what you need in terms of accountability.
If it’s a diary or habit tracker, find a fail safe way to complete it – I find visuals really helpful, so my goals diary lives on my bedside table, and anything I need to remember for a more finite period becomes a post it on my mirror!
5. Habit stack – habit stacking is basically taking advantage of habits you already have to form new ones.
For example, if you want to make sure you meditate every day, you could attach this habit to something you do each morning – for example making a cup of tea.
James Clear goes into more detail about habit stacking in this article Habit Stacking: How to Build New Habits by Taking Advantage of Old Ones.
The biggest key for me, to all of this, is that you get back on the horse if you fall off!
If you’re keen to create new habits and lasting change in your life in 2024, you’ll want to join the waitlist for my brand new course here.
