A friend called me to ask for advice this week.
She was panicking about a big meeting, linked to a business opportunity.
“What if I fudge it up?” She said (or words to that effect. “It could be a game changer for my business!”.
“What if HE fudges it up? You could be a game changer for his business!” I replied.
“This is why I needed to speak to you! Say more things like this” she laughed.
“The thing is, mate” I went on, “if this opportunity is yours, you CAN’T fudge it up. Maybe it’s not for you! Maybe it’s a practice run because an even bigger or better opportunity is round the corner.
Not just that, but there’s as much opportunity in this for him as there is for you! So treat it like an audition for him and don’t worry what he thinks of you. Think – is HE right for MY business! Detach from the outcome, if it’s yours it’s yours if it’s not it just means there’s something better for you.”
“Kirst? That’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.”
I can’t pretend I didn’t get the biggest warm glow from helping my friend see things differently in this way, but also, it got me thinking.
Something that’s changed the game for me is detaching from outcomes.
I can’t pretend I’m completely “cured” of outcome dependency (yes I just made that phrase up).
But I try hard not to worry, catastrophise, and overthink scenarios.
It’s partly enabled by the fact that I firmly believe what will be will be.
Partly because I’ve found as I hurtle through my 40s, I give way less fudges.
And partly, because SO many of the things I’ve wasted energy on, have never ended up fudging (sorry I can’t stop now) happening!!
Did you know that a study by Cornell University found that 85% of the worries we have never come to fruition.
Not only that, but they found 79% of participants handled the situation better than they expected.
The net result of this was that 97% of worries were a waste of time.
Imagine what you could do if you spent all that worrying time on something else? You could write a novel, travel the world… maybe even get to the bottom of the laundry basket 😂
So how do you stop those worries? I’ll give you all my best strategies next time!!